Love lets go. That which you call need, and you often confuse with love, does the opposite. Need holds on. This is the way you can tell the difference between love and need. Love lets go, need holds on. Let go of expectation. Let go of requirements, and rules and regulations that you would impose on your loved ones. You do not love yourself totally when you restrict yourself. Remember that choices are not restrictions. And lovingly provide for your offspring, and all your loved ones, all the information that you feel you may have, to help them make good choices.
Good, being defined here as those choices most likely to produce has particular desired results: a happy life.
Share what you know. Offer what you have come to understand.
Do not withhold your love should another make choices you would not make.
If you believe their choices to have been poor ones, that is precisely the time to show your love.