You create 100% of your own reality and no one can create in your reality but you.
At any giving moment you either are giving love, or asking for love. When attaching a value of a meaning or an event, I am creating a perception. It's my choice how to interpret what happened. An event but seeing through whatever issues or beliefs that I have from within. How I choose to see something, the perception I have on an event, is not necessarily what is happening, but how I choose to view it. Whatever perceptions that I have and then living by those perceptions determines what I have. If you perceive or make a decision somewhere along the way that you are a "bad" person and responsible for other people's emotions, for making them feel ''bad'', then you will go through life hating yourself, thinking you are ''evil'', perhaps without knowing it. You may feel constantly ashamed and guilty. You will continue to create situations where you feel bad about yourself, where you think you have done something wrong. You will, in all likelihood, create your life where things always seem to go wrong, and relationships and life will probably become a fearful thing for you. And, all this will change as your perception and understanding of how the Universe works becomes clearer, such as the understanding that no one can create the reality of another. And your life will also change when any false perceptions you have about yourself as well, are made conscious, and you change them.
When you know that you are responsible only for what you believe and what you feel, and when you know that others are responsible only for what they feel and believe, that feelings and beliefs about reality can only come from within, from what each person chooses to believe, there is no longer shame or blame, guilt or self hatred. Then you have the opportunity to believe and create your life in any way you choose, in a good way that works for you. You no longer believe it if others try to blame you, and you no longer blame anyone else for your life. That is being the Creator of your life. You choose to consciously, not unconsciously, what you want to believe, you perceive yourself and life and others in a way that is positive and allows life to work harmoniously for you.
You can't change something if you don't think you created it to begin with or, if you don't believe that you even have the power to create or change anything. Victims remain stuck, thinking it's someone else's fault, and that someone else has the power over their life, to create their life a certain way, instead of themselves. As soon as I give up 100% responsibility of creating my own reality, as soon as I give up the responsible role, as soon as I think someone is doing something to me, I have become a victim. Other's responses to me are, in reality, only a reflection of my own energy, a reflection of whatever energy I am putting out, or have inside of me. In other words, if you have a perception that someone is a hurtful person, you must have a belief that you will be hurt. They then just play the role for you that you are expecting. You create what you believe in.
Where do I still hold that judgment about myself, where do I still think that I am not ok? I identify the judgment that I'm making against myself. And I ask myself, what part of me do I still not love, and therefore I judge it? Then I look at the other person and think, I don't need to judge them. They are simply being a mirror of my own issue. I ask, what in me created that in my reality? In reality, all of us are really asking for love, which is what we all truly want. Saying, what is the mirror to me? instantly removes the judgment. Then there is no charge. There is only acceptance. Acceptance is the higher vibration. It is above forgiveness, because forgiveness implies that something has been done wrong. Acceptance says all is happening perfectly, as it should. All is perfect. Whatever is happening enables us to grow, if we look at it from being the Creator, not the victim. If we look at it all as perfect, we immediately move into the energy of Love, Trust, and Peace. Then there is no judgment. If it's complicated, it's not Truth.
Know that if you feel anger or any other unpleasant or uncomfortable emotion, you must carry that energy within you. It isn't because of what someone else did. The situation just reflected what was already there in you. Then you have the opportunity to see what the mirror is for you, to see what you carry within yourself so that you can heal, grow, and change. Therefore, seeing your reflection in another or in a situation is a positive and useful thing.
Thought triggers emotion. See what kind of thoughts you are thinking, and what kind of emotion that creates. Tune into how you feel. Use your 5 senses to ask if something doesn't feel right or comfortable in the way you are responding or feeling. If you don't like the emotion you are feeling, change the thoughts you are thinking. In other words, get a new perspective. Healing comes from taking responsibility. The word emotion is a fascinating word. Look at it this way: E-motion, or Energy, put into motion. That is what our emotions do. They move energy and bring things into motion. The force behind what we feel is what allows us to create. First we have our thought, or perception. But it is the emotional energy, the fuel, that allows something to get created. For example, "I felt so strongly about that, that I had to rush out and do it." Therefore, to create in a positive way, we must generate positive emotions from clear thoughts and perceptions.
Fear is only a mask of your true desire. You need to find out what your true desire is, and state that desire 100% positively: "I choose to have or create..." or "I am... ".
Fears have supported us, and we tend to want to hold onto them through our anger or other emotional reactions because it's the only way of life we've known. Fears can be survival tools, but will keep you locked in a lower vibration that doesn't help your life.
If you find yourself worried or fearful about what other people think, the mirror of that really is: you are in judgment of yourself.
If you are in doubt, you are caught between realities and aren't sure what to believe.
If you are in fear, you are actually holding a belief that you are inadequate to deal with something.
A fear of judgment is actually a desire for unconditional love.
If you are in pain, you are in resistance to something. What are you resisting? Identify what you are getting by holding onto the pain.
Change the perception that there was any damage done in a given situation. If you are the Creator, then you created that situation for some reason. What was the reason?
If you were in pain, you were judging. Move to acceptance. It is all perfect.
If you are asking why, you are into blaming. Go to your heart, instead. There is no war happening, unless you create one by your perception.
Honor where someone is in their development. What lessons had they have to set up to learn for themselves. What can you learn from them. And what can you learn from yourself.